he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Randomize
