non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
