I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
True strength comes from lack of pants
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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