Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
My dick has a subreddit
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
