Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
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