I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
