OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
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