I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
