dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Randomize
