SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
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Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
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I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
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