My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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