guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Randomize
