He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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