It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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