Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
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