Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
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