if you like me you must not know who I am
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
