Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
