You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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