you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
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I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
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I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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