so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
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