he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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