"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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