Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
