i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
how drunk are you?
Several
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
