it's like iHOP with fire
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
