The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Randomize
