He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
