She's JV to your varsity
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Randomize
