just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
