At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Randomize
