six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
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