Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Randomize
