marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I don't think brook has ever known best
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
So vagazzling was a success
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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