marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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