I only kidnapped one of them. chill
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Randomize
