I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Non-Jews are for practice
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
