Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Randomize
