im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Floor bacon is actually really good
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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