sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
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Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
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