You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
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