I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
