So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
I'm going to jail i love you
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
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