No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
