walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
The air was thick with penises
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
