"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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