I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Randomize
