Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
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