okay pat passed out under dana's car
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Randomize
