is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
