okay pat passed out under dana's car
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
