apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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