I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Randomize
