so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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