friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
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