i don't plan on having that self control this summer
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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