she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
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