Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Randomize
