My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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