I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
It's just like the Real World with babies
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
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I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
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He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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