Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
