just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Randomize
