THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
